No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share an umbrella to survive the toughest of vagaries
Aubaid Ahmed Akhoon
Allah Almighty has made the man the guardian of the woman but as you know, if you make someone the guardian of any nation or group from the worldly point of view, then he has to fulfill many responsibilities with himself. Similarly man is appointed as the guardian of woman, and the man also has a lot of responsibilities. If the man fails to fulfill them, then he does not deserve to be called the guardian.
According to the Quran, Ch. XLIX (Al Hujurat), V. 13, we can clearly see that Eve was created from the nature of Adam and not his rib. In this verse God says: “O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you, and God has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”
Furthermore, in the Qur-an, Ch. IV (An-Nisa), V. 1, God says “O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, his mate,…” which clearly means out of the nature of Adam Eve was created. That is the meaning of ‘wakhalaqa minha zawjaha’. Man and woman are equal because they are created from the same source and created at the same time by the same God.
Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) said: The most perfect believer is one who is good in morals and kind to his family.
Here, for a man his masculinity is not a source of pride, nor femininity a disgrace to a woman. Here both man and woman are equal in stature as human beings, both individually are great masterpieces of nature in terms of their creation and attributes. Although Adam was given superiority over all creatures and women have an equal share in the exaltation given to Adam as a human being.
Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) has taught us the best ways to live our married life, which if we strive to fulfill them wholeheartedly, can eliminate many of the complications of married couples.
Feeding the wife with love: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “You will be rewarded for whatever you spend, even for the morsel you put in your wife’s mouth.” – Mutafaq Ealayh (Unanimous)
Drinking the remaining water of the wife in love: It is narrated on the authority of Aisha (RA) that she said: “I used to drink water while I was menstruating, then I would give the remaining water to the Prophet (PBUH) and you would drink it with your mouth where I put it. I used to eat meat during menstruation and then give the leftover herb to the Prophet (PBUH) You would eat it with your mouth where I had put my mouth.” – Saheeh Muslim
Lie down with your head on your wife’s lap: Aisha (RA ) said: “The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to lie down on my lap and recite the Qur’an while I was menstruating” – Mutafaq Ealayh (Unanimous)
Playing with wife and having fun: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said to Jabir bin Abdullah: “Why did you not marry a virgin girl (not divorced) If you played with her, she would play with you.” – Mutafaq Ealayh – Unanimous
Enjoying the moment: It is narrated on the authority of Aisha (RA ) that I was with the Prophet (PBUH) on a journey and I was a minor at that time The Prophet (PBUH) said to his companions: Go ahead. When they came forward, you said to me: Come on, Let us both compete in the race.” – Al Silsila Tul Sahiha 254/1)
Helping the wife with household chores: Hazrat Ayesha was asked: What did the Prophet (Pbuh ) do at home ? She said: “You were a human being. You cleaned your clothes, milked goats and did your own thing.” (Saheehul Adab Al Mufrad 4996)
Keep your mouth clean: Aisha (RA) said: When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) entered the house, he used to start with a toothpick. (Sahih Muslim)
Applying Fragrance for wife, adornment: Ibn ‘Abbas (RA ) said: “I love to adorn my wife as she adorns me.” -Munsif Ibn Abi Shaybah
Ignoring wife’s faults: The Prophet (PBUH) said: “No believing man should hate his believing wife. If he dislikes any of her attributes, he will certainly like some of them.” – Sahih Muslim
If the wife is crying, comfort her; Hazrat Anas (RA ) said: Hazrat Safiyya (RA ) was with the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh ) on a journey. It was her turn that day. When she came, she was crying and said: You have put me on a very slow-moving camel. He wiped away their tears and began to silence them. (Sahih Al Nasa’i)
Do not complain of defects in your wife’s cooked food: Abu Hurairah (RA) said: “The Prophet (PBUH) never found fault with food. If you liked food, you would eat it or leave it.” – Sahih Bukhari
Appreciate and be grateful for her services: it’s Narrated on behalf of the Hazrat Abu Hurairah: The Prophet said: He who does not thank People does not thank Allah – Sahih al Targheeb Wal Tarheeb 1976
If the wife is ill take special care of her: It is narrated on the authority of Aisha (RA ) that she said: “When someone in the family of the Prophet (Pbuh ) was ill, you would recite Mu’awzaat (Sacred words) on him and incantation on him.” – Sahih Muslim
Showing Love: Mother Aisha (RA ) said: The Prophet (Pbuh ) kissed one of his wives and then he went out to pray. He did not perform ablution again.” – Abu Dawood al-Tahaarah, 180, 179, 178
Helping a wife to obey Allah: May Allah have mercy upon a man who wakes up at night and prays, and awakens his wife. If she refuses, he sprinkles water on her face. May Allah have mercy upon a woman who wakes up at night and prays, and awakens her husband. If he refuses, she sprinkles water on his face – Sunan Abi Dawud 1450
Honoring the wife’s family and friends: Aisha (RA ) says: “When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to slaughter goats, he would find the companions of Hazrat Khadija (RA ) and send them as gifts -Sahih Al Tirmidhi
Be a stress buster of your spouse to live a happy and enjoyable married life!
– Columnist is Working as Sr Edp head at DD Target PMT Parraypora India’s Reputed institute For Medical/JEE Coaching and can be reached at akhoon.aubaid@gmail.com
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